- Shula’s sounding more and more like Kathy
- That local authority department is back
- Bling wars
- Brenda’s not coming back?
- There still might not be a Panto
- Shock appearance of Jazzer in Jaxx
- Helen and Rob’s assignation
- Jazzer is no Oliver Mellors
- Tom and Kirsty, back together
- Darrell moves in with Shula
Shula’s sounding more and more like Kathy
Seriously.
I can barely tell the difference anymore.
That local authority department is back
At Grey Gables.
They want to investigate even further, including talking to everyone (and anyone) there on that fateful night.
And to talk to Caroline about their Health and Safety procedures.
Ouch.
Bling wars
[Fallon] “She’s not used to being upstaged in the bling department.”
Seems Brenda’s pendant is a thing of wonder. It’s nearly overshadowing Jolene’s engagement ring.
[Kirsty] “If I’d been Brenda, I’d have hung on to the lovely Dmitry at least til I got the matching bracelet and earrings … Why don’t I have adventures like that?”
[Fallon] “There’s not many Russian Oligarchs to be found it Borchester.”
Well, that’s true enough.
Brenda’s not coming back?
Fallon and Kirsty seem to think she's settled elsewhere forever.
They also mull over how Tom must feel about Brenda’s new (now ex) man.
[Fallon] “It’s a bit of a slap in the face if your ex immediately finds someone fantastic then goes ‘no, I can still do better’ …”
Kirsty can’t shed any light on what Tom is thinking. She’s not seen him in a while. Not since she spied him with Brenda …
There still might not be a Panto
Caroline has heard the Christmas show meeting got a tad “heated”.
Seems Jim, Christine and even Robert sided with Kenton and Jill against Lynda’s idea of Jane Austen readings.
What was Robert thinking?
[Caroline] “He’ll be sleeping on the sofa for the next few nights.”
The committee chose Robin Hood and his Merry Men for the show and kept Lynda in directorial charge, but didn’t decide entirely whether it should be staged as Panto or play.
Some folks are already grumbling that Robin Hood was already staged at Christmas in 1999. Debbie was Robin. Simon Gerrard was the Sheriff.
But it’ll be done with a bit of a twist. Lynda has decreed that there will be “merry women as well”.
[Shula] “Wilomena Scarlett!”
Should be interesting …
Shock appearance of Jazzer in Jaxx
Kirsty was surprised to see Jazzer walk into Jaxx.
[Jazzer] “Don’t say it like that … like I’m lowering the tone.”
And he was invited. It’s Alice’s birthday party – so most of the Ambridge young ‘uns have left the warm familiarity of The Bull for the hedonism of Jaxx.
Thought it must be said that Jazzer isn’t impressed by Jaxx. He disapproves of them serving margaritas:
[Jazzer] “Waste of good rum if you ask me … I’ll have a bottle of your grossly overpriced larger.”
Helen and Rob’s assignation
At Alice’s birthday party didn’t come to anything.
Rob was noticed. But Tom only mentioned that Helen might be along later.
I’m grateful.
That snogging sound is getting evermore cringe worthy.
Jazzer is no Oliver Mellors
[Jazzer] “Why is it all the nice girls are spoken for?”
Classy comment, mate, considering it was said to solo lass Kirsty.
Jazzer then spots a likely lass:
[Kirsty] “India Beesborough … a bit out of your league Jazzer!”
[Jazzer] “You saying I cannae pull a posh bird?”
[Kirsty] “You’re welcome to try.”
(well, if Brian managed to pull India’s mum …)
Later on, while Tom is trying to have a word with Kirsty, Jazzer seems to have struck put with India. He reckons she just couldn’t hear him above the music.
[Jazzer] “Like talking to my granny when her hearing aid is on the blink.”
But, he also reckons India was unreasonably unresponsive.
[Jazzer] “I’ve met a few stuck up cows in my time, but that yin … I remember when posh young women fancied a bit of rough, like Lady Chatterley’s Lover.”
When Tom tries to intervene to get Kirsty on her own:
[Jazzer] “We’re having a literary discussion.”
(he’s never read it)
[Jazzer] “I’ve decided Kirsty’s the only girl from me … you must have Scottish blood in you wae a name like that!”
(what a cheek … she didn’t even register with him as a lass earlier on)
Tom tries to make Jazzer take the hint.
[Jazzer] “Kirsty, my love, don’t leave me!”
[Fallon] “Just how much have you had to drink Jazzer?”
Tom and Kirsty, back together
[Tom] “Have you been avoiding me Kirsty?”
Kirsty reckons not. She’s just had a busy week of it.
When Tom finally manages to get Kirsty away from Jazzer (she was actually trying to work, while the two of them were on at her), turns out the big bunch of flowers on the bar that everyone thought were for Alice were actually from Tom to Kirsty.
(did no one check the card? How rude!)
[Tom] “I’m sorry if this sounds a bit bonkers … but I’ve realised … it suddenly dawned on me that if you’re going to be anyone’s girlfriends, you have to be mine.”
[Kirsty] “What about Brenda?”
[Tom] “We’re friends, that’s all. She’s moved on, I’ve moved on. We both agree we have no future together.”
Kirsty admits she was avoiding Tom as she was jealous of him and Brenda.
[Kirsty] “I realised I was in big trouble, because …”
[Tom] “You mean …”
[Kirsty] “I love you Tom. I always have.”
[Tom] “Well, that’s good. Because I love you too Kirsty.”
And they snog.
(*sigh* Just when I thought no Helen and Rob meant an escape from snogging!)
Well, I’ve come to slightly hate Tom less recently, but he is still a plonker of the highest order.
Kirsty really could do better, and should know better.
Darrell moves in with Shula
Darrell seems to be stalking Shula. He was waiting outside for her as she chatted to Caroline.
[Darrell] “I just wasn’t sure if this was your car.”
(I hope not … Shula and Caroline sounded like they were having a few sherries)
Darrell just wanted to check Shula had got his text, and that she knew he’d meant his apology.
(how rude of Shula not to reply!)
[Shula] “Oh, look, since you’re here, won’t you at least come in and have something to eat.”
Darrell tells Shula about losing his temper in The Bull. He was upset, and felt everyone was laughing at him. He’s also beyond fatigued.
[Darrell] “Trouble is, I haven’t had a proper night sleep in I don’t know how long … It’s like I’m always half-awake waiting for the next blow.”
Shula tells him that the offer of a bed is still open.
I somehow don’t think he’ll turn it down this time.
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